Mind and Performance 

Emotional Coaching

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Many people instinctively know that what is written below is true - they would laugh if you tried to tell them anything different.  Not everyone though.  Many others take the view that emotional stuff is to be avoided and is a sign of weakness.  That emotion has its place - locked away where it doesn't get in the way and they don't need to think about it. 

 

Unresolved negative emotion builds up and it has 'weight'.  It then effects people in ways that they may or may not notice.  If you are reading this then the chances are you have noticed this even if you have not made the link.  A person will not know the full extent of the effect of this weight until they get rid of it.  

 

It is not always possible for a person to indentify the root cause of the emotional drivers for their negative behaviours; this is where a coach is required.  We all too easily rationalise our own behaviour and put it down to a cause that may be far away from the real one.  

 

A simple example being road-rage.  We rationalise our anger as the result of another driver's actions where in reality they are in most cases, if everything was right in our lives, we would just let their behaviour slide and never take it personally. However those other drivers can and often do, become the vent for anger stored up around another areas of our past or current lives.  

 

Even the most outwardly mild mannered people can find themselves venting this way because of the perceived psychological and physical safety of being locked inside their vehicle.

 

Emotional coaching - losing the 'weight' of your negative experiences.......

 

When we carry too much weight we either get 'depressed' by that weight or we distract ourselves.  Common distractions include, alcohol, smoking, drugs, food and comfort eating, shopping, gambling, extreme physical exercise, porn, overuse of smart phones, excessive time spent on computer games, excessive TV binge watching, working all the hours we have and never relaxing and so on....    some of these turn into or feel like addictions.

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How would it be if you could move forward in life with the learning from your experiences but 

without the emotional 'weight' of those experiences?

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Counselling and psychotherapy will guide someone to the root of their problem allowing it to be rationalised and made sense of, but may not necessarily provide a mechanism for resolving the negative emotion around it.

 

Emotional coaching processes make this possible........

 

Standard coaching often relies on raising awareness around an unwanted behaviour, allowing a strategy to be employed to deliver the desired behaviour instead.  This does not change the behaviour, it only decreases the frequency of its occurance by increasing the amount of pressure required to to produce it.  

 

When enough pressure is applied, the behaviour will always return.  The feelings behind the behaviour remain and so the behaviour remains.  It may lie further below the surface perhaps, but will always persist unless and until the driver for that unwanted behaviour is removed.  

 

The driver behind an unwanted behaviour is always a negative feeling or emotion.  

 

Emotional Coaching works by the client removing the emotional drivers from their unwanted behaviours allowing them to experience permanent change.  

 

The end result of emotional coaching is increased confidence and motivation.  

 

The increase in confidence comes from changing the underlying core-beliefs we all build around negative themes in our lives.  

 

Being 'OK with yourself' on the inside is where inner confidence comes from.  

 

The coach's job is to establish which areas to work in and then the client is guided safely through the process of change.